There are quotes that once you read stays with you forever. It holds a special meaning to you in your life. You relate to it the most or maybe the quote relate to your life the most. It reminds you of a certain human that once was there or probably is there. It’s like a pin that is hammered deep into the wall of your heart. Each time you read it, it gets a little deeper. It cuts a little deeper.
I’m once again standing in the middle of nowhere. It’s a place full of questions and answers that you do not seek but comes to you anyway. It’s a circle. No matter you hard you run, you end up in the same place. Why do we have to face things we don’t want to? How do we run from these things? Don’t tell me to stop running and face them because it’s all ruins of unrequited love, heart break, longing, moving on, future and past. This body aches for something unknown. Something that won’t break it. again. Something that will hold it all together. What does this heart want? What does this life want? It’s waiting for something inevitable to happen, but, what? Death? Life? Or perhaps a dead life?
The quest for answers sometimes ruins the present. The quest for “what happened” “where did this all go wrong” “when did this happen” robs you of your happiness. What if we get the answers to all these questions? Will we be able to digest it? Take it in and not fall? What if we know exactly when it all go down, what if we know what exactly happened, In what moment, exactly everything that once existed became false? The ruins of answers is the burden of life. Sometimes, it’s better to not know the answers. The question mark may save you your peace.
Coming home from school, taking a bath, drinking something cold and then eating lunch while watching Hannah Montana on Disney channel and then taking a nap. I remember those days when the only hardship was mathematics and waking up for school at 5 in the morning. We did not even realise when time passed by and we were in college. Life took a turn as we took our majors. It became a little monotonous when when I blew my 20th birthday candle. It was a little busy when I blew my 21st birthday candle. It was hard and full of struggle when I blew my 22nd birthday candle. With every year passing, it kept on becoming hard and somehow I lost something very close to me. I guess it was me? Adulting can be hard. Changes can be hard, but, in the end, we all are doing it to achieve something big, right? But, then why does it hurt so much at times? Why there is this loneliness even when we’re surrounded by people and work and jobs.
How often do we wonder about a fictional character or a celebrity and fall in love with them. Basically, the idea of them being someone important to us in our small brain. We portray them according to us in our story even though we know they are nothing like how we see them on the screen. When a woman is in love, she does things she never thought she could do. Like, writing being one of them.
I was 15 when I had my first celebrity crush. I was head over heels in love with him. My mother was mad at me for being so crazy about someone. Technically, about an actor of course. But, soon she realized that it will not be over soon. Well, not at least till I watch all his movies and do a year long research on him. I’m 20 now and the fever is still there. I mean not that crazy but yes, still crazy enough to watch all his movies first day first show.
During all these years I had so many crushes and none of them were anyway near the first one. Like, I wrote a goddamn fan fiction about it. Yes, a fan fiction. I knew exactly how to start with my writing journey and at the same time re live some characters in my story according to me. So, that’s how my writing journey began. I wrote a fan fiction. I never thought that people will actually read it and appraise me for that and also encourage me to write more and more everyday.
For a girl, her journal, her blog, her diary or her story matters a lot. When I started writing I was madly in love with books and stories and other people’s fan fictions. If you will ever read someone’s fan fiction, you will see their emotions flowing. They might not use tough words or correct grammar but whatever they write will touch your heart. There are so many people out there who writes like professionals and they publish their stories on platform like Wattpad and WordPress. If you read their story or article, appreciate them. Tell them that they’re good.
So, coming back to the point. Fan fictions are the new hit. So many people write in this world and only few of them gets a publisher and so many people just write for fun but whatever they write is amazing, unbeatable. A person’s wild imagination runs openly when he/she writes a story that’s about those characters she love and live daily. We watch movies and like some characters but we never think about them as someone else. Like, we all know Harry Potter, right? Now think as it a change. A chance to live the story your way. It’s not like you are violating some rules or someone’s story. You’re just putting their characters the way you want them to see in your way. We all loved how Harry Potter ended except that Severus died and Hermione ended up with Ron instead of Harry. I mean most of us loved the end but there are people who wanted to see the story with a different end. So, here we create our own imaginary world and write the story with same characters but different plot and agendas. And of course different couple ships.
So, let the imagination run wild and free and write fan fictions if you can because there’s nothing more interesting and expressive than a person writing.
In our day-to-day life we see a lot of things, feel a lot of emotions, go through a lot of new phases. We like some and we dislike some but that doesn’t stop us from experiencing life, from wanting more and from taking risks. We all are same at some point. People say we all are different and that we all have our differences. They say, ”not every finger is same” and we agree, but, when we are alone in life and having trouble with schools, colleges, jobs, we look around and see people working hard and overtime for a better lifestyle. We feel connected to them. We realize that even if we all are different from each other in so many aspects, we connect. We feel as if they are on the same boat as us. They are doing exactly what we’ve been doing and that there is a similarity that connects us to them.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
Shivi Sinha 